One of my father’s greatest gifts was bringing me into our extended family picnic. This annual event, held on the birthday of my great grandmother, has been a summer tradition for over a century. As a child of divorce, I didn’t get to spend much time with my father growing up. I missed connections to his past, his parents, and the stories that shaped him. Now that he’s passed, this annual ritual of shared remembrance has become my strongest connection to him. I love hearing stories of his youthful shenanigans, early adulthood adventures, and days of new parenthood.

These moments of collective remembrance are more than just nostalgia — they are the glue that binds me to my extended family. In turn, I get to share my stories, which adds to the tapestry of our collective lives and preserves this historic familial bond. As new generations join, I can see that I’m not alone in feeling this way. Whether through commemorative events, storytelling, or family rituals, shared remembrance has a powerful impact on how we relate to each other and the world around us.

Why We Gather

Across history and cultures, people have gathered to remember meaningful events, celebrate milestones, and honor those who came before. These acts of shared remembrance play a vital role in shaping our collective identity and fostering a sense of belonging. Technology can sometimes make communities feel fragmented which makes intentionally coming together to remember a powerful way to strengthen ties.

From visiting significant places with your wonderful people to participating in local traditions, these shared experiences offer opportunities to connect, reflect, and build bridges between individuals and generations. As highlighted by recent studies and community trends, the value of remembrance extends far beyond individual memory — it is fundamental to the health and vibrancy of society as a whole.

Shared Remembrance and Social Cohesion

At its core, shared remembrance brings people together and helps form the foundation for strong, supportive communities. Gathering to remember important events or individuals creates a sense of unity and reinforces the bonds that hold us together. This isn’t just a sentimental idea; research shows that these communal experiences have real, measurable benefits.

For example, “A study found that people living in places with more historic-focused public spaces experience higher levels of personal relationships, social network support, and civic engagement.” When communities are surrounded by reminders of a shared past, they are more likely to support each other and participate in civic life.

Rituals also play a critical role in this process. In fact, “In the Netherlands, rituals play a significant role in strengthening community bonds by fostering social cohesion and a shared sense of identity.” Whether it’s a local festival, a day of remembrance, or a family picnic, these regular practices offer structured opportunities for people to connect, reflect, and reaffirm their place within the community.

Shared remembrance also offers opportunities for reconciliation and understanding. If your family is like mine, it’s populated by a broad cross-section of personal beliefs and experiences. By bringing together individuals with different backgrounds and perspectives, these moments allow for open dialogue and mutual respect, ultimately fostering a more inclusive and connected society.

Cultural Heritage and Collective Memory

Cultural heritage and collective memory are deeply intertwined. The stories, traditions, and sites that we choose to remember reflect the values and identity of a community. Preserving these memories helps ensure that future generations can learn from the past and appreciate the richness of their cultural legacy.

Visiting heritage sites is one way that people actively engage with their collective memory. “According to the Participation Survey, 63% of adults visited a heritage site at least once in the last year, with the top reason being to spend time with family and friends (67% selected this option) in 2021/22.” This demonstrates how remembrance is often a shared, social activity, strengthening both family ties and community bonds. I’d also guess that heritage sites, by nature, spark personal remembrances and storytelling.

Even during challenging times, these connections endure. “Research with visitors to seven heritage attractions during the COVID-19 pandemic revealed that more than a quarter (27%) of visitors explicitly chose heritage sites as a place to reunite.” The act of gathering at sites of shared historical importance provided comfort and a sense of continuity during moments of uncertainty.

Collective memory is not only about preserving the past but also about creating a sense of belonging in the present. Passing down stories, traditions, and rituals helps communities maintain their unique identity while adapting to changing circumstances. This preservation of heritage is essential for building resilient, vibrant communities.

Shared Remembrance as a Tool for Healing and Resilience

Remembrance isn’t just about looking back — it’s also a powerful tool for healing and resilience. Communities that come together to acknowledge loss or hardship can collectively process grief and move forward with renewed strength. Shared remembrance provides a safe space to express emotions and support one another. From my own experience, it’s far easier to cope with a little help from those who understand what I’m going through.

There is strong evidence that these practices can foster empathy and reduce division. For example, “A study in Israel revealed that the prevalent sadness associated with Holocaust Memorial Day significantly decreases affective polarization, which often manifests as distrust or hostility towards those with differing political or ideological views.” By uniting around shared experiences, communities can bridge divides and cultivate a more compassionate environment.

Rituals and commemorations offer a sense of stability and hope. They remind us that we are not alone in our struggles, and that together, we can overcome adversity. This collective healing lies at the heart of resilient communities.

Practical Approaches to Fostering Shared Remembrance

There are many ways to nurture shared remembrance in your own community. Here are a few practical approaches to get started:

• Host community events: Organize annual gatherings, block parties, local festivals, or remembrance days that invite everyone to participate and reflect together.
• Preserve and share stories: Encourage older generations to share their memories and experiences through storytelling, interviews, or creative projects.
• Document memories: Use photography or videography services like https://wildflower.video to add structure to remembrance and professionally capture important moments and ensure they are preserved for future generations.
• Visit heritage sites: Plan family outings or group visits to local landmarks, museums, or historical locations to connect with your shared past.
• Involve youth: Create programs or activities that engage young people in learning about and contributing to their community’s collective memory. It’s not always easy (I certainly resisted going to my family picnic for years) but, with the right encouragement, this can be an amazing gift to them.

By making remembrance a regular part of life, you help lay the groundwork for stronger, more connected relationships.

Conclusion

Shared remembrance is a powerful force in building and sustaining vibrant communities. Through collective memory, we strengthen social bonds, preserve cultural heritage, and foster healing in the face of adversity. These acts of coming together — whether large or small — remind us of our shared humanity and the importance of supporting one another.

By taking practical steps to nurture these connections, we can ensure that the lessons and stories of the past continue to inspire and unite us in the present. In a world that often feels chaotic, shared remembrance is an essential tool for cultivating empathy, understanding, and lasting social cohesion.

I’m grateful to my father for gently nudging me toward the family picnic all those years, even when I didn’t yet see its meaning. Now I understand how that simple ritual became a foundation — not just for connecting to him but for helping my generation find its place in something larger. By holding onto it, we are not just remembering. We are shaping the kind of community we hope to pass on.